![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
Anywhoo...
I bought three packages of sandwich turkey slices a month ago and haven't eaten a single piece. They are scheduled to go bad August 19th.
So...
TURKEY PARTY AT JUSTIN'S PLACE!
BE THERE BY 9pm TOMORROW NIGHT AND EAT AS MUCH SLICED TURKEY AS YOU CAN POSSIBLY FUCKING STOMACH!
TURKEY CAN ALSO BE USED AS SEX FOOD PROVIDED THE GIRL IS HOT AND THE HOST GETS FIRST DIBS!!
AND REMEMBER...IT'S BYOB (bring your own bread)!!!
(Disclaimer: This isn't really happening and if you show up on my front porch, I finnah shoot you)
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A special thanks to the gang who made it with me to Palm Beach (Ashley, Rick, Nat, Sheila, Steve, Linda, Matt and others) for getting me toasty last night. The best part was waking up next to Natalie at 7am as she screamed "Why am I still here? Why? Why I am I STILL HERE??"
It took me a minute to realize that she wasn't asking some sort of existential question. Turns out Matt was her ride and left without her.
August 19 2005, 06:26:56 UTC 6 years ago
Okay
Yeah, she calls me at 10 in the morning wondering why she's still there. Barely conscious, I try to explain how my attempts to get her to leave (with Linda, Sheila and I) last night were futile as God himself could not have moved that drunkard off your bed--although I did make a huge effort (both physically and mentally) to do so, though she doesn't remember. It's as if someone's entire body turns into malleable stone when they become drunk; like a protestor being arrested. Of course, she gets mad at me like it's my fault she wouldn't get up and wonders how she's supposed to get home--as if to insinuate that I am to be her chauffeur with 4 hours' sleep and halfway across town. At this point I suggested someone in the household who didn't have to be at work later in the day.My humblest apologies to the victim that took my place, as well as to Natalie for not being able to sling her limp, drunken body over my shoulder in order to transport her to my car.
August 21 2005, 04:48:05 UTC 6 years ago
Re: Okay
So fucking hilarious, if you had noticed our "I don't know where I'm at" friend haven't written anything about it at her journal. Quite confusing by judging her who seems to write every single detail of our misfortunes.August 23 2005, 15:53:22 UTC 6 years ago
Re: Okay
I can't believe you took the time to open up a livejournal account after so much crap you talk about it! Glad to know you're taking this shit kind of serious. I guess I was the guilty one by then, no shame in my actions, I guess this is what happens when you drink far too much of what your body can handle. Damn those colombians and their licorice flavored water.August 27 2005, 04:32:12 UTC 6 years ago
Re: Okay
And he has writen shit anymore since his last post a few days ago. Not a good start for a newcomer.